Got To Let It Burn
by Cena-holic8
Summary: Sometimes what may be the best thing for you to do. Sometimes it may be the hardest thing that you ever had to do. Even though you love them, it doesn't make everything alright. Sometimes you got to say goodbye. One shot songfic John/OC/Randy


John's POV

**Here is my one shot that I said I was going to put up. This is my first ever one so I hope you like it. My main character is a girl named Nicole but she's not the same one that I use in Let Me Be Your Hero. So hope there is no confusion there. **

**Hope you enjoy it and the song I used was 'Burn' by Usher. Used it because I haven't read a sonfic using this song yet. So anyway enjoy and review to tell me what you think.**

**John's POV**

5 years . . . 5 fucken years. How can you just walk away from someone after 5 years of being together? I mean how can you walk away from them? Even though you still love them with all your heart and don't want to see them getting their heart broken? It's not that I want to do this. I just know I have to do it. It'll be better for her, for us.

_I don't understand why  
See it's burning me to hold onto this  
I know this is something I gotta do  
But that don't mean I want to_

I hate to do this, to her especially. But it just seems like for the past 6 months, which not a day goes by that we don't end up in a fight. I mean they are stupid little arguments that don't make any sense or have any meaning to them. But she still means the absolute world to me. She always will no matter what. But I know that this relationship is hurting her more than making her happy. She knows that and I know that. But that still doesn't make this any easier.

She's been there with me through everything. She's the glue that holds me together. She keeps me sane. I see it in her eyes that she loves me unconditionally; she has proven that on many occasions. Whenever everyone told her to give up on me, she never has. And I will always love her for that. But it just seems like all the arguments we have, take up all the good memories that we have shared together. I hope she'll understand that I will always love her and all that she has done for me. But there's no use being in a relationship that both of us are completely miserable.

_What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just  
I feel like this is coming to an end  
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you  
I gotta let it burn_

I turn a corner to get to my locker room. I know I have to do this sooner rather than later. I've decided that tonight is the night. I finally see my beautiful girlfriend outside my locker room, talking to Randy Orton.

Randy is the one that sees me first so he waves me over, "Hey man! Great match tonight!"

"Thanks." I reply back slapping his hand that he held out. Nicole finally turns to look at me. The first thing that I notice is those light, beautiful blue eyes of hers. They always seem to hypnotize me. I could get those in those eyes. And I see that one of her chocolate brown locks fell over one. She looks so beautiful as always, "Hey Shorty, have fun talking to Orton?"

She looks at me and rolls her eyes slightly. There's another example of her being unhappy. She takes everything I say and turns it into me trying to pick a fight when really I'm not. She opens those full lips of hers and answers, "Yeah, he was telling me about how we passed a nice little bar on the way here. And we should go get a drink after you got back."

"Actually Shorty, I just want to go back to the hotel. I want to talk to you . . . can we do it some other time, Randy?"

Randy nodded, "Yeah, there's always tomorrow. So I'll just go on ahead with the gang then. See you two later."

Don't count on that, I think too myself. Nicole looked up into my eyes when Randy was out of sight, "What the hell, John? You told me earlier you wanted to go out tonight."

"Well I changed my mind, alright? Is it wrong that I would rather spend some alone time with my girlfriend?" I snapped at her without meaning to.

She glared at me, "I was just wondering. No need to snap at me."

My expression immediately softened. I snapped because I'm so tense that I have to do this. "I'm sorry. I'm just really tired after the match. But I shouldn't have snapped at you, Shorty."

Her glare turned into just a look. I know she hates the constant bickering and the never ending sorrys, just as much as I do. She walks closer to me, "Its ok, John. I kind have snapped at you too."

I put my arm around her shoulder and say, "Forget it. Let's just go, Shorty." So together we walk out to the car. The car ride was silent, just the music was blaring. I snuck a glance at her and I see her just staring out the window, with her face looking like it's in deep thought. I looked straight back to the road until we finally arrive to the hotel. We head on up to our room.

I set my stuff on a chair nearest to the door as she watched me intensely. She knew something was up and she didn't like it. "What did you want to talk about, John? What's so important that you gave up a night of drinking?"

_It's gonna burn for me to say this  
But it's comin from my heart  
It's been a long time coming  
But we done been fell apart_

I went and sat down on the bad and patted the seat beside me, "Come here and sit next to me."

She gave me a questioning look but did what I asked her to do. She looked in my eyes with wonder, "What is it, John?"

I sighed sadly. The more she looks at me with a hint of fear in her eyes, the guiltier I feel. This is tearing me up inside, literally. "Shorty . . . you know I love you right?"

Nicole nodded lightly, "Yes, until the end."

She's referring to the saying that I used to tell her all the time. I would say that I'll love until the end. I smiled a little but continued, "And I will . . . always. Just remember that . . . ok?"

"I will . . ." Nicole looked at me suspiciously. "John, you're really scaring me."

I took her hand in mine and rubbed the back of it with my thumb, "I want to talk about us. I know we have not gone a day without bickering for near 6 months now. I haven't seen you genuinely happy in for what sees like forever . . ."

I trailed off. God this is so hard. I'm about to break her fucking heart which I promised myself that I would never do again. I look and see her eyes start to cloud a little.

"Are you breaking up with me?" her voice is just barely above a whisper. I see tears start to brim her eyes.

_Really wanna work this out  
But I don't think you're gonna change  
I do but you don't  
Think it's best we go our separate ways_

I hate this more than anything in this world right now. "I know you're not happy, Shorty. We constantly are at each other's throats and I know you don't believe me when I say I'm sorry because I say it way to often. I want to work this out with you, I really love you. But we're two hotheads. We're not going to change . . ."

She was silent and looked to the floor. So I knew that she was thinking about everything I was saying but I continued, "Shorty, I love you so much. More than I ever loved another woman. You may not believe me now, but I do. That's why this is so hard for me."

She finally looked me back in the eyes, "But John, I don't want to break up with you. We've been together for so long that I can't imagine my life without you in it."

_Tell me why I should stay in this relationship  
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby  
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with  
I think that you should let it burn_

"We're not happy, Shorty. We haven't been for 6 months in counting. And I'm going to be busy with the new movie that its going to put more stress on our relationship . . . trust me, it's better for both of us this way." I sighed heavily, "It'll save all the heartache that we will be put through."

She withdrew her hand from mine, "So doing it now won't break my heart?"

I hear the pain in her voice even though she tries to hide it with anger. She stands up and looks down at me, "I just can't believe this! 5 fucking years, John! I helped you through so much shit. I was there for you when you injured your shoulder and gave you the love and encouragement to get back in that ring even though you tried to push me away. I stuck by you when you went to fucking rehab for your drinking. Who was the one that always supported you and always encouraged you to be the best that you could be? That was me John. I never gave up on you because I loved you and felt like you loved me just as much as I did to you. Even though you forgot on more than one occasion."

I stood up beside her, "I never forgot that I loved you!"

She narrowed her eyes at me, "Bullshit John. Before you went to rehab, I used to have to practically carry you away from the bar every night. For fucking 6 months straight, that's all you did every night was drink. Everyone told me to leave but I listened to my stupid fucking heart and stayed by your side, feeling more like a babysitter then a girlfriend. I told myself every time when you were passed out drunk that you loved me. You really did. But then when I found out that you cheated on me 5 different times . . ."

I could see tears fall down her face but she didn't seem to notice them. I'm ashamed of what I did to her. I hate to be reminded of that and she knows that. She continued anyway, "Boy was I pissed and devastated when I found out. I had finally had enough and I used my common sense for once and moved out. It wasn't even a week later that I was missing you like you could ever imagine. But I saw you at the bar of course, trying to drink your troubles away. Even though my head told me not to, I helped you back home and took you up to the bathroom. I rubbed your back while you puked your fucking guts out . . ."

But you want to know the reason why I came back?" she asked while I just nodded, "I took you back because when you were through and I put your head up so you could breathe. Well you pulled me into a hug which was disgusting by the way. Anyway you hugged me and pleaded 'Shorty, please don't leave me. Don't give up on me. I need you and I love you so much. . . I need you to help me get better. Getting better isn't worth it if you're not there.'"

Now I do remember that night. That was such dark times for me. I always wondered to myself why she didn't just leave my ass. I took her for granted and I knew that but I still kept doing it. We were only two years into our relationship when I started to drink all the time. But she stuck it out. She deserved so much better. She began to speak again, "I just don't understand that I put up with your shit for so long that you just to throw in the towel and break up with me."

I looked to the ground then back into her eyes, "But this is how I'm going to make you happy. I'm setting you free. You don't need to deal with me or any of my shit ever again."

She shook her head, "Is that supposed to make me feel better about all of this?" She took in a breath and said, "Fine, I'm done with this. Now you also have the freedom to sleep with whoever you want. I'm sure that's what you wanted in the first place anyway."

_When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to  
But you know gotta let it go  
cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to  
Even though this might ruin you  
Let it burn  
Let it burn  
Gotta let it burn_

"It's not like that at all, Shorty." I said, "I'm doing this because I love you but I feel like there is no hope for us. There is no quick fix to what we are going through and I'm not absolutely positive that we'll get through it. All we do is fight. You're not happy, I'm not happy. It's better to let you go now than keep you around for my own selfish needs while you're miserable. You need to be happy."

We fell silent. She knew that I was right. It was just took her awhile to accept it and I think she finally did. After about 10 minutes of just staring at each other, she started to say with her voice full of question, "So you'll be ok with seeing me with someone else. Because John, you know that will eventually happen."

_Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you  
Hate the thought of her being with someone else  
But you know that it's over  
We know that it's through  
Let it burn  
Let it burn  
Gotta let it burn_

I sighed. I thought about that a lot when I made this decision to let her go. I knew she would find someone else. As soon as word got out that she was available, every guy around will be knocking on her door. "The truth is, I hate the very thought of that happening. But I just have to get over it. Just trust me . . . I thought of everything and that is the part I hate the most and will hurt the most. But I know deep down I know it's for the best."

I think she accepted my answer but I know she wasn't ready to let me go. She didn't want someone else. She told me that all the time that she could never want another man other than me. God I hate this if I don't say that enough. I looked up and asked the question that I was wondering, "Do you think we can ever be friends? Because I don't want you shut out of my life, Shorty."

She looks up, deep in my eyes and I noticed that all the anger that was there earlier, was replaced by sadness. It was breaking my heart even further and I know it has been fully ripped into two pieces. Anyway she answered, "I don't know . . . I think we will. It'll take some time but like I said before, I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"Same here Short—"

She abruptly put up her hand, "Please don't call me that."

I was hurt to say the least but I understand. "Um do you want me to go get another room so you can stay in here?"

She shook her head, "No, I'm just going to go to Ashley and Candice's hotel room and stay with them for awhile . . ."

Her voice cracked with each syllable she uttered. I knew that she was on the edge of breaking down into a fit of tears. Throwing out what she said earlier, I asked, "Shorty, are you ok?"

"Please don't, John." she said quietly. Tears were now running down her cheeks full force and tears were in mine also. She took in a breath before saying, "I think I'm going to go now."

She walked to the door, opened it, but stopped to turn and face me. I could see it in her eyes that she didn't want to leave. She wanted me to say that this all is mistake and I want to be by her side. But I can't. I see her suck in a sob and choke out, "Goodbye John." and she walked out of the door, closing it behind her.

Then it all came crashing down on me at once. She left and now there was no more us. No more kisses for a wake up call in the morning, or random I love you's. No more nights where we just cuddle together until the sun would come up to signal that it was morning, or talks lasting hours, never running out of things to say. Even after 5 years together, we were never bored with each other. But you want to know the worst part? I'm not going to be the guy that makes her happy. Someone will take my place to do that. This is all too much for me. But as tears are falling down my face, I know it's for the best.

**6 Months Later**

_Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to  
Got somebody here but I want you  
Cause the feelin ain't the same by myself  
Callin' her your name_

"Hey Johnny, Randy wants to talk to you!" my girlfriend, Torrie Wilson called to me.

It was another house show in Ohio and I just finished up with my match and got into the locker room when Torrie called to me. I heard from Ashley Massaro and Candice Michelle, Nicole's best friends, that she was going to stop by tonight. I can't wait to see her. After the night we broke up, it took her 2 months to finally be able to talk to me. We kept in touch, mostly by friendly emails because we both were too busy to call each other. I think it's because we didn't really want to hear the other's voice. I couldn't tell you how many times, I have started those emails with an 'I'm sorry' and 'I've made a mistake and want you back'. But I knew she was doing alright. But those 2 months when she wouldn't talk to me at all, not even through emails, were the worst. I was afraid I was going to slip back in to drinking again. But she finally answered one of my emails and I was happy.

Torrie Wilson is like girlfriend 5th girlfriend ever since I broke up with Nicole but I know she will be ex-girlfriend #5. Most women can't handle me. Yeah, it's great for like a month because they are dating the famous John Cena. But they get tired after awhile. They all think I'm immature and never take anything seriously. I can't help it, that's just the type of guy I am.

Nicole thought the total opposite when she met me. She knew that I was all that but she saw beyond it. She knew underneath I was just so insecure because after my break up with my fiancée, I thought all women wanted from me was money. But Nicole proved me wrong. She loved me just the way I was. And she hardly asked for a thing, which surprised me so much. She knew all I wanted was to feel love by another. She was the one that loved me unconditionally. She loved me and stuck by me when even my whole family had given up. I can honestly say that knowing her had made me a better person. She has taught me a lot. So tonight, when I see her, I'm going to talk to her about maybe trying again.

"Ok, Tor. I'll go right now." I told her giving her a kiss on the cheek.

I wonder what Randy wanted. I walk down to his locker room and knock. After about a couple of minutes, the door opens. But I don't see the 6 ft. 3 inch Legend Killer, instead I see my beautiful, blue-eyed ex-girlfriend.

She smiled when she saw me, "Hey John . . . surprised to see me?"

"Yeah very," I said shocked, "What are you doing here?"

She stepped aside, "It's a long story but why don't you come on in? Randy is in the shower so he'll be out shortly."

"Ok" I went in and watched as she sat down on the chair that was closest to me. So I decided to make conversation, "So you look good. How have you been?"

She smirked, "I've been good. I've been really busy lately. I'm going back to school to become a psychologist."

I smiled. That had always been a dream of hers. She just never had the time to go back to school to become one, "That's great, Short—I mean Nicole. I know you'll be successful because you always are when you put your mind to it."

"Thanks John." But before she could say anything further, Randy stepped in the room with us, showered and dressed casually. I'll be the first to say this; this was really weird to say the least. I have no idea why my ex-girlfriend was in Randy's locker room.

"Hey ledge." I smirked.

"Oh hey John. When did you get here?" Randy asked walking over to us.

"A couple of minutes ago" I answered, "I was really surprised to run into Nicole though . . . well anyway what did you want to talk to me about?"

I saw Randy and Nicole exchange glances with each other, which confused me. Finally Nicole opened her perfectly full lips and said, "Well there is a reason why I'm here."

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

"Well John, we wanted to talk to you first . . ." Randy started but trailed off.

Nicole went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He put his over hers. Oh great, I know I'm not going to like hearing this. She turned from Randy's face to mine and said, "What we are trying to say John is that Randy and I have just started . . . um dating. So we thought that you should be the one to know first."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't believe it. Randy and Nicole? I never saw that one coming. Then all these questions ran through my head. I'll admit it hurt. Nicole noticed that I was hurting so she turned to him and asked, "Um, Randy, can you go outside and give us a minute? John and I need to talk, ok?"

"Sure thing, babe." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and exited the room.

"Let's sit down." She led me over to the couch and we sat down together, side by side, "Are you ok?"

I looked into her light blue eyes, "I don't know. I'm just shocked most of all . . . when did it happen?"

"A couple of days ago" she said, "Look John, I wanted you to hear it from me. Because even though we're not together anymore, I still care about you. I always will."

I know that but I really wasn't prepared for this. It kind of hurt. But I asked the question that I was thinking of and what I wanted to make sure was happening, "Does he make you happy?"

She smiled a little and answered, "Yeah John, he does. Still worry about me, don't you?"

_Ladies tell me do you understand?  
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?  
It's the way I feel  
I know I made a mistake  
Now it's too late  
I know she ain't comin back_

"Of course I worry about you." I replied to her. How could she think I wouldn't. "I just want most of all Nicole, is for you to be happy. If Randy makes you truly happy, then I will step back and I'll support you."

She smiled even bigger and I can't help but smile back. "Thanks John, that means a lot." She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug. God I miss this woman so much.

_What I gotta do now  
To get my shorty back  
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh  
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do  
Without my booo  
You've been gone for too long  
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours  
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)_

"But I want you to remember something, John." She looks at me in the eyes, "I want you to remember that whenever you need me, you know as someone to talk to, call me. Day or nights . . . just promise me that you won't hesitate."

I smiled. She still worried about me and knows that I will always have my share of problems. And it's good to know that someone will always be there for me because I know she means it. She always will worry about me as I always will worry about me. "I promise. Same goes for you too, you have to promise too."

She smirked at me, "I promise." She stared at as I smiled.

"Go and get ledge. We'll go out and celebrate."

"Thanks John," And she left. Wow she's really gone. 2 days ago I should have talked to her. But now it's too late. My worst fear has come true. She has someone else to make her happy and I'm no longer going to be the one that she wants to be there. It really breaks my heart. But I have to move on with my life. I have to . . .

_When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to  
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to  
Even though this might ruin you  
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn)  
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)  
Gotta let it burn_

**1 Year Later**

_Deep down you know its best for yourself but you  
Hate the thought of her being with someone else  
But you know that it's over  
We know that it's through  
Let it burn  
Let it burn  
Gotta let it burn_

You know how many times I've gone back and wonder what went wrong. But I can never figure it out. But I know I shouldn't have let her go. I regret it so much. We probably could have worked it out, we always did. So why was that time any different from all the other times? I honestly can't answer that question myself.

I promised that I would attend but when she asked if I could be in the wedding, I had to say no. but I promised that I would go because she said that it would mean so much. I know she understood why.

I make it in time and go and sit in the last pew. I know everyone of the WWE roster is looking at me and wondering what's going on inside my head. I ignore them but then turn to look at Randy and see him just smiling away. He knows he has made the right choice. He has . . . Nicole is such a wonderful woman. Then I hear the wedding march begin and I turn towards the end of the aisle. She took my breath away.

_I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on  
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)  
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on  
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)_

_So many days, so many hours  
I'm still burnin' till you return_

She was so beautiful, if that were ever possible. That whit gown complimented ever curve of her body. Her hair was halfway up and really curly with a few strands to frame her face. She had a pretty bouquet of red roses and her father at her side. She was really a vision.

It took Randy 8 months to propose to her. I was with her for 5 years and I never even thought of marriage. I mean yeah, I thought we were going to be together forever but I never gave marriage a thought. But I wish I had now.

She shot a look in my direction and gave me a reassuring smile. But turned away when she made it to the altar with Randy. I was hoping at one point that she would say this was all a big mistake but she didn't. It took 15 minutes and then they were announced as Mr. and Mrs. Randy Orton.

Now it's over. Nothing matters anymore. Nicole is married to Randy now and nothing that I could do or say can change a damn thing. She was my world and I believed she would be the woman that I would be with forever. But that's all changed now.

I feel someone grab my hand as Randy and Nicole are walking down the aisle. I looked and saw my girlfriend, Ashley Massaro, staring back at me. She knows that this is hard for me and she'll help me through it. She smiled while I gave her a smile back.

We walk out of the church when Ashley turns to me and asks, "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be ok." I may be torn inside but I know I'll move on. She'll always be a part of my life and I will never forget the 5 years we spent together. But I know deep down that this will all be for the best, for both of us. I just wish it didn't hurt so much.


End file.
